Are You a Frugal Without a Cause?

I made a grocery run on Saturday. Not because the pantry or refrigerator were empty. They were quite full, actually. I went to the neighborhood regional grocer on Saturday because the weekly advertised specials ended on that day, and there were a lot of good values in the ad thatcouldn’t be missed!

Armed with the Sharpied-up ad with circled products and prices, I meandered through the aisles picking up the essentials like 36 taco shells, 8 pounds each of both sugar and flour, a couple jars of peanut butter, and some dog treats that were marked down to a dollar, (but looking at the receipt, I see I paid $2.29). Dang it!

All together, I bought 27 items for $45.86, compared to the “everyday low price” of $87.68, a savings of $41.82. Darned near half price.Big score, right?

nice work, sir saves-a-lot

Meanwhile, I have a habit of checking my investment balances daily. It’s not a great habit, butPersonal Capital makes it really easy to do, and frankly, it’s ahard habit to break.

On a slow or mixed day, the grand total of my investments changes by a three or four-figure sum. Most weeks, the day-to-day swing will be a five-figure number at least a couple times. On a particularly good or bad week, I can gain or lose a full year of expensesfrom the nest egg (although technically I don’t gain or lose anything, because I’m not selling). I understand that some volatility is normal with afairly aggressive portfolio, and I’m comfortable with it, but it reallyputs into perspective the two-figure sum of $41.82 I saved on the grocery bill.

Why so frugal?

Frugality is a mostly learned habit. Some of us were raised to live frugally out of necessity, or as a result of being raised by parents who were raised by survivors of the Great Depression. Many of us had to be frugal in medical school and residency just to get make ends meet. I had a negative net worth in my later twenties, and I didn’t like that feeling at all. When I finished residency at age 30, I started to splurge a bit, but I had a lot of ingrained frugal habits that are alive and well 10 years later.

I’m not ashamed ofmy frugal ways, but when I look at the big picture, I realize that at this point, I’m like a seriously uncool James Dean. I have neither the jacket nor the hair.A Frugal Without a Cause.

Since my family is now financially independent after years of living below our means, we could afford to start living closer to our means. The fact is we’re not exactly wanting of anything that money can buy. Except perhapsfreedom, which is something I expect I’ll buy in another five years or so.

I also realize that increasing our spending alters theFI equation, and I don’t want to be a fraud. Having told the internet that I’m now FI, spending an extra $20,000 a year would require another half-a-million bucks, and I’m not quite there yet!

What frugal habits should we drop?

At some point, frugality will have largely served its purpose. It helped you get out of debt, to start building a nest egg, and perhaps even attract a life partner with similar ideas about money.

If the internet is any indication, it can be difficult to break free of old habits even when they might be doing you more harm than good (see Bogleheads threadshere,here, andhere(there are dozens of similar threads, but three is more than enough)).

I believe your life can actually improve in some ways by letting go of some of those frugal ways: How so?

• Save time. I’ve said it before, money buys time.
• Be more comfortable (better clothes, sheets, furniture, car).
• Be healthier (cheap foods are often bad foods, gym membership).
• Higher quality products. The cheapest item is cheap for a reason.
• Better experiences. A walk in the woods is free, but the entrance fee to the museum / amusement park / ballgame is a whole different experience.
• New friends. The beer in your fridge costs less, but the ales & lagers at your local taproom are also being enjoyed by neighbors who share your passion for craft beer.

Have a seat. Make a friend.

If you’ve read my posts about frugality, and you’re starting to get the feeling thatI’m conflicted, you couldn’t be more right. On one hand, frugality has played a big role in putting us in a great financial situation today. On the other, many of our frugal habits are largely inconsequential, and may actually be holding us back from living a life of optimal happiness.

Is it fair to call a frugal person cheap?

It’s important to distinguish pragmatic frugality from dastardly cheapness. A frugal person might choose not to spend on himself, but is willing to spend more freely on others.

A cheap person isn’t willing to pay the price of admission, even when the rest of the group wants to go. A frugal person has already scouted out something fun for everyone to do that won’t break the bank.

A frugal person might forego buying dessert at the restaurant and have some ice cream at home. A cheap person splits the bill by throwing in $12 for their $11.95 burger, leaving his “friends” to pick up the tax and tip. Oh, yeah… thanks for the nickel, friend.

A frugal person buys the first round at happy hour. A cheap person reluctantly takes orders when half his friends are in the bathroom or otherwise occupied.

It’s perfectly acceptable to be frugal when your choices don’t affect your friends and family. It’s perfectly uncouth to be cheap.

I still have a mindset that celebrates little money-saving victories, and I don’t think frugality is inhibiting our ability to live a fulfilling life. While I do try to remind myself it’s alright to loosen up those purse strings, I don’t often feel the need. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

As I write this, we are in the midst of our first full year of closely tracking our expenses. The good news is, we are actually FI, as we said we were. The bad news is the monthly expenditures seem frighteningly high for a relatively frugal physician’s family that carries no mortgage or any other debts.

While I would like to say we’d be comfortable spending a bit more, it might not be worth the shudder at the end of the month when we review the monthly output. In other words, I’m still trying to figure this out. When I have life mastered, I’ll let you know. Until then, I’ll keep writing.